when you drink the water and the tummy go sploosh sploosh
Wait do American people not call their friends mate?? Is this a thing???
Yup. I’m sure some do but mostly people just say friend. Which is boring but whatever.
Wait so you go up to your friends and be like “Hello friend.”
we use names
Reasons not to go outside:
- Poison ivy
- Quick sand
- The plague
- Large bugs
- Men with pointy teeth
- I’ll say no more. I’ll just upset you.
reading a foreign language: yeah
writing in a foreign language: ok
listening to a foreign language: wait
speaking in a foreign language: fuck
THE FIRST TEN LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL
1. We are here to help you.
2. You will have time to get to your class before the bell rings.
3. The dress code will be enforced.
4. No smoking is allowed on school grounds.
5. Our football team will win the championship this year.
6. We expect more of you here.
7. Guidance counselors are always available to listen.
8. Your schedule was created with you in mind.
9. Your locker combination is private.
10. These will be the years you look back on fondly.
TEN MORE LIES THEY TELL YOU IN HIGH SCHOOL
1. You will use algebra in your adult lives.
2. Driving to school is a privilege that can be taken away.
3. Students must stay on campus during lunch.
4. The new text books will arrive any day now.
5. Colleges care more about you than your SAT scores.
6. We are enforcing the dress code.
7. We will figure out how to turn off the heat soon.
8. Our bus drivers are highly trained professionals.
9. There is nothing wrong with summer school.
10. We want to hear what you have to say.
is simon pegg ok
Are you from Tennessee because you’re the only ten-
YOU WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND HOW MUCH I DID NOT EXPECT THIS
speaking of ellen it’s time we all remember the greatest moment of the ellen show.
I almost scrolled by this. I am glad I did not.
I LOVE JESUS BUT I DRINK A LITTLE
'you shouldn't eat that it's too fattening/full of calories'
*proceeds to eat both food and person*
one time i forced my mom to play pokemon for at least half an hour and all she did was catch a butterfree and name it lowfat
When your parents get mad that you cant find something that’s not where it’s supposed to be
P L E A S E